Old News from 01-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was UK news section)


Scientists say they have discovered a new gene that can give people a type of "internal sunscreen". Although, why you'd need sunscreen inside your body... unless the sun shines out of your a... anyway.

Increasing numbers of doctors are calling on their biggest legal help organisation to ask whether they can lawfully treat pets and other animals. Great, now I'm second in-line to see my chiropodist after a centipede with gout.

Engineering work at Stansted Airport is being held up by a colony of protected rare newts. You see, that's what happens when you have Ken Livingstone as mayor.

Scottish taxi driver George Steele has earned £12,000 for driving a woman 16,000 miles across America. When they got there the woman said, "No, I meant Texas the DIY place."

Jeremy Paxman is to return the Second World War decoding device, the Enigma machine, to its home at Bletchley Park exactly two years after it was stolen. It's a famous piece of English heritage that's know to churn out total non-sense, so no wonder Jeremy Paxman's got it.