Hard Assets

What a time it has been in the money markets. Where do you but your money to keep it safe? Property? Well, house prices have been slipping and as mortgage lenders have been in trouble there will be fewer people able to buy.

Stocks and shares? As soon as there is some trouble in any financial sector the shares take a dip.

In a bank? Well, a couple of banks came close to folding, so even that's not safe.

But do you know what was in demand last week? Gold. People were trying to get their money in gold because in times of financial uncertainty metal is a safe investment.

One way to invest in metal is to buy rare coins or buy gold bullion.

Places like United States Gold Bureau have helped tens of thousands of people to invest billions in such assets. They're known as hard assets, and they includes things like rare coins, gold, silver and even platinum bullion.

Cold Snap

This cold snap has been the top news story for days. I love hearing people on the news saying: "We were hoping to sped Xmas in the Caribbean but our flight has been grounded." Oh, my heart bleeds.

I've suffered before of the cold. I had to get a bus into town and the driver was doing vibrato whistling of When A Child Is Born. Oh, the humanity.

Apprentice

I watched the final of this year's Apprentice. It was a pointless episodes. They both make a drink, do well, and then Sir Al (I'm sticking to the old name, it was better) hires based on previous experience.

It's a great show though. Nick is always good value. When you see the faces he pulls during the tasks it makes you think, "I'd love to see what Nick's sex face is like (but not willing to do what's needed to find out)."

Finally Stella won so, good to see Sir Al's a top lad... he gets in the Stellas. Whey!

Beauty Institute

Want to do something for a living that makes the world a better place? Forget about being a global warning scientist or a politician trying to bring about world peace. Be a hair dresser. At least that way you are making the world look better. Your work gives everyone something nice to look at while they're going about their everyday business.

If you are keen to find out about hair schools you should check the Regency Beauty Institute. It's now over 50-years-old and continuing to grow. They have almost 30 campuses across nine states, and they're not stopping there.

The campuses are like upscale salons and that gives you the hands on experiences you need to develop and learn. If you want to find out more go to the Regency Beauty Institute website www.regencybeauty.com.

Misfits

I just want to say how good Channel 4's Misfits is. I was going to talk about it on Twitter as I was watching but I saw it on E4+1 so it felt like 'soooo' last hour.

It was a great evening of TV. E4 showed the film X Men and then Misfits; basically the same show but with added chavviness.

Royal Wedding

Just as soon as we settle down after the massive news of a royal wedding, along comes another one. They're like buses. I don't have a ticket yet somehow I end up paying for it through tax.

This time it's Zara Phillips who is getting married. I know what you're thinking, "Another royal wedding? Just how many tea towels do they think we need?"

Gold Coins

Gold has been used as an investment for millennia. From the Egyptians over 4,000 years ago decorating their tombs with gold to the Greeks using gold in art, it has been the way that someone's wealth has been marked. And if something works that well, there must be something in it.

It is something that you can still do today. With places on the web like the United States Gold Bureau you can buy gold coins as an investment. You have the gold that they are made of as a commodity, so it's price could go up. And you have the face value which the coins will always be worth at least that much. You can see why it's an idea a lot of people have turned to after the recent economic crisis.

Cup Cake

It was National Cupcake Day this week and I missed it. Shame.

Although that doesn't mean I would've celebrated it even if I knew it was about to happen. I sometimes have a pancake even if it's not Pancake Day, I'm that much of a rebel, so National Cupcake Day was a long shot.

And we live in a world where lots of people will die of obesity related conditions, do we really need a cupcake day? Ever spot someone in the street and think, "Every day is National Cupcake Day for that guy"?

I'll Take You To The Coffee Shop

I do enjoy going out to a coffee shop. It's a great way to get motivated. Get me a coffee shop, a seat near a socket to plug the netbook in, and I'm working.

I have a few gripes though. Like, it's winter and kids still order the ice-based drinks that sound like you're grinding gravel. Seriously, shhh.

People who get a table before they join the queue should be taken outside and shot. Just a warning shot... to the head. I am very strict on this rule.

And sometimes the rubbish weather has meant I can't get out the house to get to the coffee shop. When that happens I miss hearing people talking utter crap while I try to work.

So I just put Loose Women on ITV2. Sorted.

Coins

These days you can buy gold coins from places like United States Gold Bureau.

It seems odd when you think about it, you buy coins. That's like spending coins to get coins. The secret is what they are made of. Gold has been doing well as an investment commodity recently. The price has been steadily increasing and the stability of solid, tangible investments isn't lost in the modern world of inflation, recession and austerity.

You can buy gold as coins, have it kept safe in a depository or your own personally storage facility. The coins have a face value, which means there is a minimum level below which they can't drop. But as the value of the gold increases the resale value of the coins goes up.

More

After Strictly 'Come Dancing/Widdecmbe's' departure and 'X Factor/Mary going' drifted into the past I saw two other topics come to the top of the list. Katona and NSPCC were both on the trending list. Hmm. It's not the first time those words have been in the same sentence. I know. Ouch!

A Little Twitter Update

It's been an interesting day on Twitter. Ann Widdecombe was voted off Strictly Come Dancing and Mary was voted off X Factor. Those were big subjects on Twitter.

Doesn't it seem strange that they both went at the same time? Coincidence? Hmm? Let me put it this way, have you ever seen them both in the same room at the same time?

Real Metals

At the United States Gold Bureau you can buy precious metals as an investment. It's not just silver and gold, other precious metals include platinum, rhodium, even palladium.

The thing about investing in something like a precious metal is that it is real. It is a real, solid object that exists in the real world. It's not like the money invested in a share portfolio because the value of those shares aren't really represented in the real world. If the company stops trading the shares lose all value and that just means the paper that represents those shares no longer has value.

Gold, silver and other metals will always be those bits of metal. The price may go or or down but there is something reassuring that your money, or at least part of your money, is invested in a safe form.

This is why people want to buy silver and buy gold these days. At a time when the modern economical systems seem to be failing, doing things the old way, like the ancients Greeks, suddenly feels like the right option.

Loading?

Walking past a church today, I looked up to see the interesting architecture... but I noticed this...



Hmm. A sign saying, "except for loading" put up next to a graveyard. Probably not the best idea. 'Loading' is not the nicest way to refer to what happens there.

And, even though it's faded, you can see the sign bans cars and motorbikes 'except for loading'. I know you can get some wacky funerals these days but would you want to be 'loaded' off the back of a bike?

What Just Happened

I got home to find a little red card from the Post Office saying I had to go to pick up something they tried to deliver (when I wasn't in) and suddenly it's my problem.

So, I head to the main Post Office, queue with the old people, get my thing and head home. But when I finally get back in the house, it was later than I thought and my flies were undone. Looking at that evidence here's only one thing I think could've happened. I must've been hypnotised by a randy old woman.

Or I suppose a randy old man. Either one of those two possibilities must be when happened. In fact the old man is more likely to carry the required pocket watch.

Golden Idea

The United States Gold Bureau is a site that gives you the option to do like a lot of investors are doing these days and Invest in gold.

Not just gold, they have the facility to let you buy silver or other precious and rare transition metals.

It's not just a trend, it's a sensible option, as gold has a permanency that other investments do not share, especially in these times of economic troubles. Look at it this way, if you had all your money invested in some Irish company at the start of the month, you'd have a lot less money now. But if you had your wealth in gold at the start of the month, you'd still have it, and the price has been going up recently.

I'm A Celeb 4

Still watching I'm A Celeb/thinking angry things about Gillian McKeith.

Oooh, the big row between Gillian and Stacey. Stacey said that if Gillian didn't enjoy her time on the show she should just leave. And the rest of the viewing public shouted "Yeah!" in agreement.

I love it when Stacey talks sense in her dizzy voice. It's like getting a Rolax wrapped in a Aldi bag.

I'm A Celeb 3

Still watching I'm A Celeb/thinking angry things about Gillian McKeith.

She keeps preaching to everyone. Just because she is scared of water doesn't mean she has the right to tell people they don't have the right to have opinions. She has her head so far up her arse right now.

Let's he honest, if she has her head up her arse she'll be able to see her own poo, so that'll keep her happy for a while.

Mesothelioma

I have been reading about mesothelioma. It is a trulu scary illness. It is a form of cancer that is thankfully rare but terribly devastating. It is caused by exposure to asbestos. When the asbestos fibre particles are inhaled they go to the lungs and stay there. The body cannot break them down and pass them on so they just sit there. The body then produces mesothelioma tumors. They are the body's defence to stop these particles getting to the internal organs.

There are legal issues over this illness because exposure to asbestos can often be someone's responsibility. The Houston asbestos lawyer of Heard Robins Cloud & Black know all about these cases. You can find out about the services they could provide you or your loved one by seeing their website at www.texas-mesothelioma-lawyers.com

I'm A Celeb 2

Still watching I'm A Celeb/thinking angry things about Gilliam McKeith.

Gillian said she wants to be Stacey's friend when they get out. Haven't you already made her suffer enough?

And then Gillian said that the one person who can understand what she is going through is Katie Price. Well, Katie Price and Gillian McKeith have so much in common. Erm... well... ah... they're both known for having big bulges sticking out of their torso.

Ouch!

I'm A Celeb 1

Another evening of watching I'm A Celeb. Or to put it another way, an evening of thinking angry things about Gilliam McKeith.

She keeps saying, "You don't understand phobias," to everyone, as if we don't have the right to have opinions about her situation. Well, Gillian. I understand phobias. I have a doctorate in phobias. I bought it off the same website you got yours from. OK?

Metal Options

I have been reading about the United States Gold Bureau. It's a place where you can buy metal, be it silver of gold as bullion or coins. When you think about metals as in investment it all comes down to timing. Gold is an investment that people turn to during times of economic hardship as companies become less of a reliable investment option.

And silver reserves are running low while demand is staying healthy, which means the price will increase as the balance between supply and demand changes.

Those are two examples of how metals are having a resurgence as investment options. To see more have a look at www.usgoldbureau.com

Guilty Pleasure

I have to admit, I have a guilty pleasure. When no one else is in, and the curtains are closed, I sometimes put the TV on to The Only Way Is Essex.

The people on that show are so shallow. It's amazing. They make Jordan look intellectual. What kind of a message does that show give our kids? Be a total dim waste of space and you'll get on national TV. Work hard at school... and you'll get nothing.

Nice Circle

I am sure you have come across the concept of the vicious circle. Where one leads leads to another and before long that effect has become the it's own indirect cause. If left unbroken this vicious circle will make the situation go from bad to worse. It's a feedback loop that becomes hard to escape.

But if a vicious circle exists it must also be possible to have the opposite; a positive version of the vicious circle – a nice circle, if you will.

This would be a situation where one thing leads to another and that improves on the original situation, and round and round it goes. Each loop of the nice circle makes the whole system better.

One example has to be that of someone's credit score. If you have a poor credit score it will be unlikely that you will be able to get credit. You're stuck and things are going to improve for you. But if you can find a way to get some credit, then what happens?

You borrow. You get the credit and you repay that credit within the appropriate time. By paying it all off without any problem your credit score will improve. Now, with a better credit score you should be able to find it easier to get credit. Pay that off and you will be improving your credit score again, which will lead to an increased ability to borrow. It's a nice circle.

The only difficulty with a nice circle is getting on it in the first place. And that's where sites like www.americancreditreport.net can help. On the site you can get your Free Credit Score to find out where you stand. And when you know your Credit Report you know what problems and weaknesses you have to deal with. Use the help and advice to improve your situation and you should be able to get credit. And from that point on you can ride the nice circle till you get a better American Credit Report in the future.

You have to be realistic, you won't sort all of your issues over night. And you have to be responsible, if you fail to repay something you will put yourself back at the start of your nice circle journey. But using the information you can get from the web and a sense of how the system works you can use the nice circle concept to improve your situation.

Bonfire Night

I was out tonight, and the area of London I was in I could hear some lovely fireworks going off nearby. Or it was terrorism. It's kind of hard to tell which these days.

About 400 years ago someone tried to blow something up in England because of religious reasons and we celebrate it. This year someone tries to blow something up in England for religious reasons and they stop us taking ink on planes. Tut.

Testing Your Metal

Metals are amazing. They're malleable and have let humans make objects that have shaped the world around them, from iron in our buildings, aluminium in our aircraft and copper in our electrics. But isn't it gold that really shaped society. Before any of those items were being made it was the pursuit of gold that motivated people to greatness.

For centuries people have collected gold and used it as a way to accrue and preserve wealth. It's still going on today. After the recession hit investors moved towards gold as a stable investment for their money.

Whether it's gold coins or gold bars, more people are keeping their money in gold. So even today it's the metal that makes the world go round.

Ink

The recent bomb scare on the planes has been worrying. Toner cartridges were used to get the explosives on board and they were found just in time.

So, Al Qaeda are using ink as a weapon. And octopuses are thinking, "Bloody copycats!"

We'll no longer be allowed to take ink toner on flights! Better cancel my tickets to InkJet Con 2010. Damn, it would've been fun.

Same-Sex Pair On Strictly Come Dancing

Israel has broken the Strictly Come Dancing mould with the first same sex couple in its version of the show.

It's a shame we didn't do it first. It would've been great to see Ann Widdecomb teamed up with a butch lesbian. Well, anyone other than Antoine du Beke would be an improvement.

Lesbian sports presenter Gili Shem Tov says it is right she should perform in Israel's Dancing With The Stars with a woman.

It's right and it is progressive but it's on a show that judges people for doing old style dancing.

Gili has teamed up with heterosexual professional dancer Dorit Milman to form the first woman-woman pair on the show since Britain invented the format six years ago.

Maybe it's something that other TV shows should learn from. Instead of All Star Mr & Mrs there should be All Star Mrs & Mrs. Instead of the sitcom Men Behaving Badly there should be Women Behaving Badly.

But it swings both ways. Instead of X Factor... XY Factor. Come on ladies, it's only fair.

>Read the source story

Twice As Nice Without The Lice

Got head lice? That's not like a 'got milk' thing. I'm not saying you should go out and get some. But if you have them I have some good advice on how to deal with the situation. It's lice advice.

First, it's likely your children are the ones to bring them into the house. One idea would be to get rid of the children to make sure you don't get reinfected, but I guess people won't go with that idea.

Step two is to get some of the advanced treatments that are available these days. For example, in Houston lice treatment services from the Lice Removal Resource Center, Inc, can be found on the stoplicenow.com site.

If you have head lice, nymphs or nits in your family you can get them sorted. Get your heads clean again so you don't keep passing it from one member of the family to another.

And that's my lice advice. How nice.

Manford

Poor old Jason Manford. He was in the newspaper today for sending some flirty direct messages on Twitter so some innocent woman... who sent him some pictures of her boobies and then went to the national papers about it.

Yeah, tut JM, sounds like you corrupted such a sweet girl.

It must be a slow news day if someone flirting on Twitter is a front page story. I think it happens every day.

I mean, it happens on Twitter every day. I don't mean it's a daily routine for Jason. Oh dear, I was trying to help him out but I think I have just made it sound worse.

Hmm. Mouse-aka!

Have a look at this. It's a mouse that's being eaten by a big-ass frog. That's not the technical name for the species of frog but it really should be.

The 4lb African Bullfrog made short work of its tiny prey with the help of razor-sharp teeth. Ouch.

We've all had a frog in our throats before, so this is really payback.

Depuy Lawsuit

The Depuy Lawsuits are an interesting case of how the actions of a company can touch the lives of so many.

DePuy, the Johnson & Johnson company, made things like false hips. If everything had gone to plan with that the company in questions would've helped lots of people. But not everything went to plan. There was a fault and 93,000 hip replacement systems were recalled. Some people had to suffer addition and otherwise unnecessary surgery that comes with it's own side-effects and risks.

So, the company affected many people but in a bad way. And some of those affected by this took a legal route. The law firm O'Hanlon, McCollom & Demerath gained experience dealing with cases like this. So if you think you are in a position to bring such a court case you could be well advised to check out their site by clicking the link.

Science

You know me. I love my science. Well look at this post (click here to read it).

Scientists have done it, they have made levitation work. Sounds great, yeah? Nope. It's only for really small things.

So it will probably work for Cheryl Cole.

They have used some quantum mechanics to make it happen. That's great because quantum mechanics is one of those things that when you learn it you think "I'll never use this in a practical way, ever."

For people who didn't do a science degree, it's like when you use a square-root and think, "Wow, I haven't needed that since school."



P.S. Here, have some physics...

Indoor Language

Britain is apparently a nation of a potty mouths.

That is total bullshi... Oh, I see their point.

It's claimed the average person in the UK now swears around 14 times a day.

But you have to realise, we have Gordon Ramsey ruining our stats.

People say television is to blame.

Yep. You turn it on, you see Gordon Ramsey and you say, "Oh for ****'s sake. Is it him again."

What's wrong with swearing. They're only words. They can't hurt you. Most of them don't even include the letter P, so if someone shouts one at you you probably won't even get spat on.

Doing Things The Old Ways

Gold has always had a power over us. It's the colour, the uniqueness, the weight. There has always been an urge to own gold. It's something that you want to not only get but keep and store and add to.

In the old days having a lot of gold was seen as a sign of wealth. People would buy gold as a way of preserving their fortune. It was also a good way to pass on your wealth; your children would inherit the gold and it would then be their fortune.

Today the same is possible. You can gold bullion from www.usgoldbureau.com and have it stored at your home. You then have a solid investment that represents you wealth.

To find out more have a look at the link above.

Virgin Advert

I was watching the TV one the weekend (it just happened to be on during the X Factor. I wasn't planning on watching it, honest). And in the ad break I saw the new Virgin Media ad. It was the one where Speedy Gonzales says he has a new job in the UK.

Really? That's non-EU immigration. How did he get a job over here? The Daily Mail will have a fit.

I prefer the good old days when the Virgin Media ads were like this...



...starring someone who's eyes are just too far apart. If they wanted a cartoon they still could've had someone with Uma's eye spacing. They could've picked Ren from Ren and Stimpy.

Coke Fuel

Forget fossil fuels, forget bio-fuels – this could bee he future of transportation. Some nerds (Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz) made a bike that is powered by piston mechanism using hundreds of pieces of Mentos candy and Coke Zero.

You know what it's like if you drop a Mentos into a bottle of Coke. Well, the same technology has been used to make this bike move. It's a great idea. You can fill it up at a service station like any normal car, because all service stations sell Coke.

And if you get thirsty you can have a little drink from your fuel tank. You can't do that unless you use unleaded petrol (what?).

They posted a video of their efforts online which showed the contraption going more than 220 feet.

OK, it's not that far on one tank but with the price off petrol these days it'll still work out cheaper to use Panda Cola.

>Read the source story

Preparation

Preparation is the key to life. Motivational experts talk about the 5Ps when they say, "preparation prevents p*ss poor performance". The Scouts say you should always be prepared. Even salads come prepared these days.

That's why it's good to talk about things like pest control before you actually have a problem with pests. If you have been invaded by some sort of little critter I feel for you, you're about to run into a panic trying to get it sorted.

If you had thought about it already, done a little research, you'd be in less of a panic. For example, if you lived in Houston you could've researched Bulls Eye Pest Control, which is a Houston pest control company that can sort out any problem you're having with pests like termites, fire ants, wasps and bees and even fleas.

Phone Boxes

On the way back from a gig last night I spotted this...




One thing we can conclude from this, Superman is a knob when he's drunk.

It's bad enough when students do that with traffic cones, but he has to go one better.

It's an art work in Kingston. I'm not really sure what it's suppose to be. If I were the one giving it a title I think I'd go for, "The Best Domino Rally Ever!"

Pigeon vs Magpie

VS.

From the the window at the back of the house today I saw a fight between a pigeon and a magpie. If Harry Hill ever wants to know which one is best I can already help him out.

The competitors were...

...in the blue corner, the undisputed king of crapping on my fence... Fat 'Stool' Pigeon

...and in the red corner, the jinx who stinks, the thieving little bastard... Mag 'Liverpool' Pie.

When it started I didn't know why I would be supporting. I'd never thought about it before but when it all kicked off I found that I wanted the magpie to win.

Sadly, he didn't. He was in trouble from the start. The pigeon was in a different weight-class. Well, they were both feather-weight but you know what I mean.

The magpie knew he wasn't going to win and he flew off. I was hoping he'd gone to get a mate who'd come back and help him kick some pigeon arse because that would be lucky for me. But not for the pigeon.

Golden Future

A lot of people have been interested in buying gold since the recession. We hadn't done it for ages. With the dot.com bubble and the web2.0 boom people were in a mindset where they thought the big investments were shares in tech companies. But the banks screwed things up and now people are thinking that something like gold, something that is solid and can't be messed with by city bankers, is a wiser option.

You can get into this too. You can buy gold on the internet these days. United States Gold Bureau (www.usgoldbureau.com) run a site where you can buy precious metals like silver and gold.

Safety

We all know the phrase, ooooh health and safety. It seems you're not allowed to break wind these days in case you blow yourself over and try to sue.

There have been stories in the news about people not being allowed to cross the road while at work because they were not given the correct training. It was a case of some PSCOs who were helping school children across the road but were told they had to stop as they hadn't been on the right training course.

How would you get to this training course if you weren't allowed to cross a road? You could only be trained up if you lived on the same side of the street as the school.

Well, here's another case of health and safety, in Hitchin... even the postbox has to wear a hard hat.

Drugs Advert

A little while back there was an advert on UK TV that was annoying. Well, there were probably many that fit that description but today I'm only talking about one. It was about drugs.

There were some teens in a car with massive eyes and the voice over at the end said, "Drugs cause involuntary responses that you can't control."

Erm, as opposed to those involuntary things you can control? Isn't that the very nature of something that's involuntary. I know we're teaching kids not to do drugs but can't we teach them how to speak English properly too?

But, if it is true that the drugs cause you to have those big eyes this toy must be well mashed up...

Raise The Bar

We're heading to the time of the year when you'll be asked by relatives what do you want for Christmas. Tell them this, "A gold bar."

You won't get it but it's worth a shot.

No, buying gold isn't something relatives will do for you but it is something you can do for yourself. Gold is currently a good investment. When the financial markets are is disarray gold is seen as a more attractive investment proposition. While shares become worthless if a company folds a bar of gold will always be a bar of gold. Well, as long as you keep it away from nitric acid, and I'd imagine if you have invested your money in gold you wouldn't take it near your jugs of acid. Keep them in a different room maybe.

The Power of Stink-Eye Part2

So, people have been asking about doing the stink-eye. I told you how I used the stink-eye to get a seat when someone broke the queuing rules.

Just as a genuine smile is all about the eyes, true stink-eye is actually about using the mouth. You have to glare, pout and then turn away in disgust.

Don't worry if you don't get it right at first. It takes time. Find a friend to practice on, or if you don't have a friend try out the old stink-eye on a pet.

But don't try doing stink-eye on your cats. The cat will win. Especially if the cat is facing away from you at the time.

The Power of Stink-Eye Part1

Just been to a coffee shop where the gap between paying for your drink and actually getting that coffee is massive.. It's so long I think they're trading coffee futures. I'm buying coffee at one price and they're waiting for the market to drop before they give me my cappuccino.

The trouble with waiting so long before you get your drink is that you are committed, you have paid for your drink so you can't opt out, but if you are in the shop on your own you can't take your seat yet. So, while I was stood waiting someone walked in with her husband, sent him to queue and nicked the seat I was going to have.

I had to do it. I gave her the stink-eye. I was next in line for the seat and it's not fair to nick it from me, so I stick-eyed like a pro.

And it worked! She saw me stink-eying and she moved away from the table. Stink-eye rules!

Golden Shot

Remember you can buy gold bullion on the internet and with the recent recession the prices are good.

You can have the metal delivered to your home for safekeeping or arrange for convenient and safe storage at an independent bank or depository.

Either way you would be able to visit your investment and see with your own eyes the representation of your wealth. The gold is available in coin or as an ingot.

So, while every ad on TV if for some dodgy company that wants to buy our old gold, you can buck the trend and buy it for yourself.

Have a look at the United States Gold Bureau website by clicking the link above and you can find out more.

Æon Flux

Today I spent most of my time watching season 1 of Æon Flux. The film was a bit pants but I thought I remembered the animated cartoon from Liquid TV.

As it turns out after watching ten episodes I didn't understand any of it. But I worked out why I liked it as a teenager.

One thing I learned was that the Aeon Flux cartoons were made in the 1990s and therefore done in 4:3. Watch them on widescreen on the wrong setting and she ain't too skinny any more.

Web Cam

I was thinking of buying a webcam tomorrow. The plan is to go and use it on Twitcam. That's where you can go on the cam and get the Twitter followers you have to ask you questions.

It's a great idea but the big worry is, what if no one logs on. I could sit there like Mr Bill E Nomates just looking like a shop manikin.

But the really worry is that if I like using a webcam I might go on.... chat roulette.

Da da daar!

Commonwealth Games

We hear a lot about the Commonwealth Games. The facilities in India have gained something of a bad reputation. They weren't really ready and aren't of the standard many expected. But there is one reason the competitors are staying there and trying to battle through it all. Gold. They all want to be the one to get a gold medal. It's the status that gold has than can motivate us to work harder and do better. The gold medal isn't even the source of the money that the athletes get but it still represents wealth and status.

In the olden days people would buy gold because it was a good way to store and show off their wealth. It's a physical investment and that's why during times like we're in now, times of global recession, people go back to the old ways and invest in gold. It makes more sense than investing in a piece of paper or reference on a computer. If the bank goes under your money goes with it, but the gold will always be gold.

You can buy buy gold online these days. Click the link to find out more.

Coffee Time

I don't know if you have seen the new Costa advert. If you haven't you can click here and watch it.

In the advert there are lots of monkeys (including a rather handsome looking mandrill) trying to make a cappuccino.

The advert says that monkeys are rubbish at coffee. That's a really bad choice of animal. The cappuccino is named after the cappuccin monks who were named after the cappuccin monkeys.

So, if it wasn't for monkeys we wouldn't have coffee shops populating every corner of our streets.

And at least the monkeys don't ask if you want a cake or muffin every bloody time. If I did, I'd ask!

Back To School

I went back to university recently. I wasn't there to learn, sweet mercy no! I was performing.

It's odd going back to a uni after this long. You forget how small the little chairs are and the little toilets.

You know you're in a university because you find yourself surrounded by acronyms you don't really understand. They had a sign for a CAAS something or other (I have no idea) and a sign for an IWUS thingy (still nothing).

And they also had a sign that said OILE. I just had to ask what the hell that was about. Turns out it used to say toilets before some letters fell off.

It's Hip To Be Square

There's an interesting legal issue going on at the moment. There are DePuy Hip Replacement lawsuits that have come about because of DePuy Orthopaedics, Inc. They announced a recall of their hip replacement systems. That's a total of about 93,000 affected. The problem was related to reports of people suffering pain and swelling. It was so severe for some that they needed a second hip replacement. That was more surgery, which in itself was more suffering.

The lawyers at O'Hanlon, McCollum & Demerath have taken on case of people affected by this. If you think this may be an issue you would like to look into click the link above and see what they can do for you.

Manager's Special

I was out shopping earlier on and I saw this on a shelf...



Aw bless. It's good that they employ people like that. But I'm not sure manager is the right position.

He was there with his little toy till and he's happy as Larry.

But when it comes to making the managerial decisions I'm not sure it'll go well. If you're special and you want to be a manager... go work in a Weatherspoons.

Stand-Up Clips

Here are some (very short) clips from a selection of stand-up gigs done over the last week. Just click the link and hopefully you'll get to hear them.

Have a listen...

- From the Crouch End gig, this guy wouldn't tell the MC his name and we found out why.

- From Surrey gig, basically poo jokes about the Commonwealth Games. Not high brow!

- From Beds Uni gig an experiment in doing a popular tweet on stage.

- From the stand-up gig in Stamford, when @Hotchilly56 called his wife "That".

- A little clip from the Borough Green gig (TN15 8HF).

Gold Standard

You can buy gold bullion on-line these days. From places like the United States Gold Bureau you can buy metal such as silver, gold or other precious metals, as an investment.

It has been something of a tradition to invest your wealth in gold. For hundreds of years most civilisations have been doing it. Can that many people be wrong?

There is something about gold that excite people. It's not like other metals. It has a colour and shine that lets you know how much it is worth.

During recessionary time people tend to go back to investing in gold as you get a physical object for your money. Shares in a company are worthless if the company goes under but a lump of gold will always be a lump of gold.

If you want to find out more click the link in the first paragraph.

Today Was Wet

Darn it. It's been my first day off in ages and I was really looking forward to nipping out for a coffee. I know, I do that even when it's not my day off but that's not the point here.

I got ready and was just about to walk out of the house when the heavens opened rain stopped play.

So, I took my coat off and made a coffee at home. Eugh, a home-made coffee. What is this, the olden days!

Well, the coffee was fine but it's not the same without someone offering me a muffin that I don't want, never have wanted and never will.

I need staff.

Tennis Fan

As an Andy Murray fan I was happen when a national newspaper had a life-size cut-out mask to wear. I ran out and got one.

The trouble is, I'm a big man. Andy Murray is a skinny bloke and I clearly have more meat on me. I've got bigger arms, more upper body strength. I need a mask to make me look like Serena Williams.

Grants

We all know that education is a good thing but it can be really expensive. It's one of those "you have to speculate to accumulate" situations but if you don't have the money in the first place it is really hard to afford the education that will let you earn more.

There are grants available but it can be hard to understand all the details of how you get one. That's when the college pell grants website collegepellgrant.org is useful.

It has sections like the 'acronyms' section that goes through the jargon and phrases that can make the system hard to understand. There is the "5 steps" section that guides you through the stages of getting a grant. The "FAQs" section can fill in the blanks that you, and many other people, have had.

If you are a member of the military there may be grants that you can get, again the collegepellgrant.org site has a section that will help you work out what you have the right to get. It's not just down to your situation, your parents' financial situation could also make a difference to your grant eligibility. The "Am I a dependent" section can go through that for you.

It's a great site, but it's humble, as it also has a "useful sites" section that points you in the direction of other sites that have information that could help you.

So, if you would like to know more about grants this is certainly a good place to start.

Spies Like Her

I have been enjoying the spy saga.

We had the story of the alleged Russian spy Anna Chapman, who married a British student called Alex Chapman.

What was she going to learn by spying on British students? How to cook Pot Noodle? How to make one pair of pants last all week.*

He's an aspiring film-maker and said to be stunned at his ex-wife's new status.

Really? I think most husbands could believe their wives are spies. You get a text message at 11pm and watch her spring into action.

The newspaper even published pictures of her topless. And yet they claim she was under cover. Hardly. (Click here to see them.)

In the Telegraph Alex said he received a call from someone at MI5 when he found out what had happened advising him to keep quiet.

...he told this to a nation newspaper! No wonder the spy married him if he was that good at keeping a secret.


* Monday, wear as normal. Tuesday wear back to front. Wednesday wear inside out. Thursday wear inside out and back to front. Friday go commando. (I was a student too, you know.)

79 Not Out

The Sun has a picture of a happy mum, dad and baby - with a tale of a 54-year age gap. Raymond Calvert is Britain's oldest new dad at the age of 79.

It's amazing what you can do with a mira-coil mattress and Deep Heat.

He's fathered son Jamie with his partner Charlotte who's just 25. Raymond's called Jamie "A gift from God - my very own little miracle."

And they have pictures – look at the cute little guy, sat there all bald, wrinkly, needing his nappy changing. He looks just like his son.

Bullion

After the recent financial troubles it must be tempting to think that we never should've dumped the gold standard.

In the old days gold was the standard by which all monies were measured. After the Second World War America dropped the gold standard and make the dollar the standard. And the dollar hasn't been that healthy of late.

Some people have said the Euro could be the standard of the future but after Greece needed to be bailed out by the rest of the Euro zone it showed the weaknesses in the pan-European currency.

For all that people say the gold standard should not have been dropped we have to realise there are physical limitations. Look at it this way, all the gold that has ever been mined has been estimated at around 142,000 metric tons. At US$1,000 per ounce the total value of all the gold ever mined would be around $4.5 trillion. That's less than the value of circulating money in the U.S. so you see that problem. And quantitative easing isn't possible under those restrictions.

However, the limitation on the amount of gold is a plus point if you think about gold as an investment. While supply is restricted and demand if free to grow the price will tend to increase. A quick look at the gold price shows is has been on the up for the last two weeks without a break.

With all this in mind it may be time to buy gold bullion. If you want to see more have a look at the www.usgoldbureau.com website.

Back To The Footure

Sports giant Nike has taken out a patent of the self-lacing sneakers worn by Marty McFly in Back to the Future 2.

They would've been better off taking out a patent on a time machine. That's the thing with Nike, they don't see the big picture.

If you patent the time travelling machine, when someone invents it you get to make money from it, buy one, go back in time and patent the self-lacing shoe. It's win-win.

There's hope the self-lacing Nike could really be in stores by 2015 after Nike took out a patent for the technology involved in making them.

Really? Shoes that tie themselves? Aren't we obese enough yet? For some people putting on shoes is the most exercise they get.

>Read more in the source story

Good News For Lap Dance Fans

A study of lap dancers has found that one in four has a university degree.

That's a bit pointless. It's always nice to be the cleverest person in a room but if they can walk and not dribble they'd be smarter than all the blokes they work with.

The majority of women in the industry were attracted by the money after finishing school and gaining qualifications, according to the research. Most said flexibility was the main attraction of the job.

Hmm. Flexibility is the main attraction of the women too.

But the academics called for better regulation to improve dancers' safety, including the banning of private booths in clubs.

Dancers are also open to exploitation by the clubs, which can impose "unfair" charges or fines on them.

They'll be used to unfair charges because they have to deal with tuition fees these days.

>Read more in the source story

If you don't know what we're talking about here is some research from the web...

Going For Silver

Have you ever thought about inventing in gold coins or silver ingots? I know that sounds like something that would be said in a medieval film but it is becoming more popular than you would realise.

One of the reasons behind this shift is that the world demand for silver has gone up and it now exceeds the annual production. More silver is wanted and it is depleting the above ground stockpiles. This means, as demand increases and supply drops off, price goes up.

That makes silver a good thing to invest in. If you want to see more about making such an investment click the link above.

Salt

I just watched the new film Salt. I really liked it.

In the film you see Angelina getting tortured and beaten up. I know what to get Jennifer Aniston for Christmas.

In the film you get a blonde Angelina and then a brunette Angelina. Why is it they never make the lead characters go ginger for a little while? It seems like they are under representing the red section of society.

The way it normally works is that the blonde version of a character is the good one and the dark haired version if the baddie.

Why can't they have a middle bit in the film where the lead character has to run for cover when the sun comes out a bit? They could have the lead actor fight off bullies and see them try to pull their romantic lead, who would have dark hair and dark eyes, as the ginger protagonist tries to give their off-spring someone else's dominant genes.

Maybe this is why I don't write films for a living.

AAA Stand-Up Late Goes Well

We're heading toward the end of the AAA Stand-Up Late shows. We're still on till the 30th so you still have the chance to come and see.

They've been going really well, but of course I would say that, wouldn't I? And reviews like the 4-star one from Three Weeks are lovely, but what do real people think?

Down Again

According to the newspapers we may be heading into a second part of this recession. We are seeing things like the rate of inflation moving upwards with the employment sector unlikely to provide pay increases to counteract it. All in all, the standard of living will be hit.

Another downturn in the economy would prolong the suffering we are already doing. But one thing that tends to happen during a recession is that investors move away from products like property and stocks as a place to invest their funds, and they move towards precious metals.

For example, you could invest in silver. Silver is available as a coin or in the form of an ingot. Demand for silver is greater than the levels of production, so the price has seen increases of late.

Gold is also a success story during times of economic instability. Once again, you get it as a coin, as an ingot or as bullion. It means you have a physical item that is your investment. That is far more certain than some shares in a company that could go under.

Woken Again

There are workmen doing some... work, I guess (the clue is in the title) outside the window. It's 1pm... in Edinburgh... during the festival. Some of us are trying to sleep!

This sleeping in business is getting worse. I had to set an alarm to get to an afternoon gig the other day. I have to rush if I want to make it to any shops before closing time.

I am thinking of performing the body clock loop the loop. I have often thought of it but never done it. That's where you go to bed later and later every day till you find you are actually getting up at a normal time. You lose a day but you get yourself back in step with the real world.

Edinburgh Transport

I am still up in Edinburgh. It's a lovely place. I had a bit of a mishap the other day. Up on Princes Street, near the big shops, where that homeless guy sits in the door way near BHS, there is the most pointless thing ever... the tram that doesn't move.

I see how having a tram and not running it is cheaper than running it, and we are in a recession, but it still seems odd. Maybe that's how it makes money, the tourists get on it, pay the cash and when they get bored of sitting there just walk instead. Genius.

Anyway, I was walking past it with a friend and said, "Look at that stupid, useless tram."

The homeless guy thought I said tramp. Long story short, I had to buy The Big Issue.

Double-Dip Recession

A lot of people have realised that it is a good idea to buy gold coins as a form of investment during the recession. This advice may remain good as a lot of economic forecasters are saying we are in for a double-dip recession.

Places like the United States Gold Bureau give you the opportunity to buy gold, silver and other precious metals. Some are as ingots and some are as coins. The point is, you have a physical asset for your investment.

During a economic boom, people tend to invest in companies as that company might make it big. But during a recession, it's more likely that any given company will go under. That's a big risk for you money. So, during these times people opt for the solid, tangible investment. That lump of gold will always be a lump of gold. That's a level of security you can't get from a limited company.

You can find out more about this by looking on the website www.usgoldbureau.com or click the link above.

Late Night Coffee

I have been up in Edinburgh for nearly two weeks now. The last time I was up here I was drinking quite a lot. I don't remember much about that visit. It was 5 years ago.

This year I am not drinking. I have been working hard and having a good time. But yesterday... something happened.

I found a coffee shop that's open till midnight. Oh dear. This trip just hit trouble. I can drink coffee all day now. Last time I was walking on stage drunk. This time I will be getting trough my act in about 5 minutes.

I don't mind that I won't be very good. I worry that I will have to write more material.

Edinburgh Traffic Lights

So, I'm up in Edinburgh performing at the fringe. It's not the first time I have been up here, the last time was a few years back when I was still very good at drinking. One thing I didn't notice back then was how the traffic lights in Edinburgh work.

I was waiting to cross George Street (a fairly wide crossing to be honest) and the lights took a while to change. When the green man lit up I started to cross. After about three seconds the bleeps stopped. Argh!

I thought I was going to die. Just before I started to run I noticed that the green man was still on. The green man is on for ages but the bleeps only last for a few seconds.

Edinburgh, you certainly like to make your blind people run.

TransUnion Case

Between 1987 and 2000 TransUnion were involved in action that went against the rules of the industry to which it belongs. It is a credit reporting company in America, which means it should adhere to the Federal Credit Reporting Act.

But it sold confidential credit information about customers to marketing companies that used that information to target campaigns. By breaking the laws of the Federal Credit Reporting Act they have left themselves open to be sued for damages.

The attorneys working for at O’Hanlon, McCollom & Demerath have picked up a lot experience in these cases. They have proven to be well positioned to handle such TransUnion claims.

Considering that, if you were one of the people who applied for credit in America during the years stated you could be in a position to seek a Transunion Settlement. Click the link and have a look at the intake form for a free consultation.

Cinema Laws

I went to see The A-Team film today. It's a Wednesday so I got the tickets on the cheap.

It was a great film, lots of fun and nothing too serious. It's just what you expected it would be. Recently I saw Remember Me so it was nice to watch another film that wasn't filled with mood and bitterness (and lot's of depression).

On the way into the cinema we were stopped and had our bags searched. Can they do that? Really! We hear in the news that the police might lose their ability to stop and search. They're the police and they soon will not have the right to look in your bag without good reason, but some spotty-faced gimpoid working for the Cineworld can insist on seeing what you have with you.

We also hear that the police may lose the right to hold someone for 28 days without prosecution. Don't worry, I'm sure they can trap you in a cinema for that long. If you go to see a Kevin Costner film you'll be in there for at least that long.

Toxic Macadamia Nuts

I was on the way back from an evening of work, after a long day when I hadn't eaten. I was very hungry and stopped at a service area but I didn't want to eat some fattening burger or chocolate snack. I thought I'd get some macadamia nuts. Yeah, nuts are known to be a healthy snack. I got home, feeling all healthy, and I went to sleep.

About an hour after I fell asleep I woke up with some terrible stomach pains. I then spent the rest of the night doing thing that I will only describe as “both ends”.

The next day I took to Google to see what I had. I thought I might have a macadamia nuts allergy but the symptoms of that are all about hives and swelling. I didn't have any of that.

But then I found a site that mentioned the symptoms I actually suffered. It listed vomiting, weakness, depression, diarrhea, difficulty walking, and muscle tremors.

I had all of those. So I clicked on the link to see what I had only to find that it was a list of symptoms that dogs get when they are fed macadamia nuts. They're toxic to dogs and I have the same problem. Basically, I am medically like a dog.

No wonder I love a good walk.

Midas Touch

Do you remember the story of Midas? People say "he's got the Midas touch" when they talk about people who are successful, but that's not the take home message from that story. His life was ruined. He thought he wanted to be able to turn everything he touched into gold, but when he got it he hated it. Imagine what it would be like. You go to the toilet and try to wipe... well, you can see the problem.

He would also have hated that gift because he didn't understand the nature of supply and demand. If everything he touched turned to gold, gold would become very common and the price of it would drop. He might as well be turning things into tin.

It's supply and demand that has helped the price of gold and silver recently. It's a good time for silver at the moment as world demand for silver now exceeds annual production, just as it has every year since 1990.

You can buy gold coins, silver ingots and other precious metals at www.usgoldbureau.com if you're interested.

Posh Blindfold

I read that Posh Spice bought an expensive blindfold for the bedroom. (It was in the News of the World, so it must be true, right?)

Firstly, why? Most women would love to see what David Beckham looks like when he's getting down to it. Why would you want to miss out on seeing that?

If you have a normal bloke with his chubby belly and hairiness, I can understand splashing out on some eye protection. But Becks spends all day working out. It's wasteful.

But why spend the money on a blindfold for sex? If you don't like what you see, Victoria, just face the other way.

Actually, maybe that's a bad idea. But those football chants would be proved right.

Weather

We have had some great weather recently, which is rare for the UK. In fact the sun visits the UK so infrequently it can claim non-dom status and avoid paying tax on its overseas earnings.

But with nice sun comes hot conditions. It's been sweaty. But you can't say that. Apparently we don't sweat. There is that old saying, "Women glow, men perspire and horses sweat."

Really? In that case, I saw a woman who was out for a jog the other day. She had a really big glow patch on her back and under her pits. Is that more polite?

Golden Times For Silver

Check out the United States Gold Bureau (the web address is below) where you can buy silver, gold or other precious metals and coins. You get them sent to you (or an independent bank or depository) where you can look after your investment.

You can buy silver bullion or coins and now is an interesting time to do it. The global demand for silver is now greater than annual production and the stockpiles of silver bullion that are above ground are low. All of this helps to push the price up. And the stocks continue their shrinking and approach zero the situation will be better for those who hold silver investments.

Traffic

I was travelling back from a nearby town the other day (don't worry, I wasn't driving, or taking this picture would've been tricky) and I saw this in the traffic light's queue in front of us.



Click to have a look at the bigger picture. Just in case you can't tell, it's a massive articulated lorry with a large crane attached to the back. That's all very well, but notice the L plates!

There are some learners you really don't want to get stuck behind. And if the instructor makes him do a three-point turn...

Dog Walking

I was walking in South London the other night, on the way to a gig, when I walked past a phone box and noticed that something was stuck on the wall. I walked back and had a proper look and I saw this...



I'll tell you something, the prostitutes in the Putney area are getting worse.

And you know what those cards in phone boxes are like, even if you get that desperate that you have to pay for it, you'll ring the number, turn up at the house and find out that the dog in the picture doesn't actually work for them. Typical!

Oxidant

I remember learning about oxidizing at university. As you would guess, it is something that oxygen does. Oxygen would love to get a couple of extra electrons to give it a full shell, so it is rather good at taking them off other atoms.

But it is not just oxygen that oxidizes. The Halogen gasses are rather good at it, and an free radical (something that has an unpaired electron sitting rather uncomfortably on its outer electron shell) can rip an electron off some poor unsuspecting molecule.

There's a theory that this oxidizing effect is the thing that causes us to age. Our cells and DNA are constantly attacked in this way and eventually it leads to degradation.

That is why anti-oxidants are an important thing for our health. Have a look at http://www.oxis.com the website for the Advancing Oxidative Stress Technology Oxis International, Inc. (OTCBB: OXIS). I have been reading abut their antioxidant, Ergothioneine.

You may have heard of Ergothioneine, you may have heard of glutathione, but the important thing is that such antioxidants are linked to Anti aging. Have a look at the penny stocks on their site.

If you are into your social media follow Oxis on Twitter or join Oxis on facebook.

Solid Investment

Buying metal as an investment is very popular at the moment. You can buy silver and gold as coin or as ingots. I like the sound of an ingot but the coins have a very clever double use. The value of the coin goes up when the price of the metal it is made from increases, but if it's a coin there's a face value below which it cannot fall. If the metal markets crash you just take your coins to a vending machine...

Whether you get your silver in the coin form or as the ingots the point is you have something that is physical that you can hole. It's not just some paper that represents your investments and it's not just some username and password that lets you log in to check how much you have. You have a tangible item that is your investment.

If you want to buy gold eagle coins have a look at www.usgoldbureau.com for more info.

Mafia Wars

I know I shouldn't waste my time in the evenings by playing on the computer. I realise that when I get to the end of my life I won't be lying on my death bed saying, "I'm glad I spent a lot of my time on this planet shooting bad guys."

Having said that, I do spend my time on Mafia Wars. I'm level 872 at the moment. I like to think that some computer games can be to the betterment of mankind. You can improve hand-eye coordination, some puzzle games keep you smart in the head. Mafia Wars however makes you thick. I was working away at killing people and this came up...



I'm not Carol Vorderman but if you need 113 and you have 4675, you have enough. Idiots!

Of course, I won't say that to their face. They're the Mafia you know!

Stevenage

Here's a picture from a little walk I took the other day. I had to take the car in to be repaired so I had to walk everywhere that day. As I headed into the Old Town part of my current home town of Stevenage, I saw this...



Ah, Stevenage - misunderstanding how many are normally involved in being "twins".

How can you be twinned with four other things? And if Stevenage is twinned with Autun and Katoma, are Autun and Katoma related in any way? They should at least stay on the sign as you enter Autun, "Step-twinned with Katoma."

What's Better Than A Holiday

Every loves a holiday but there is one thing that goes much further than that. Buying real estate in a wonderful holiday location. And the internet can help you out. Let's take an example:

If you are looking for Tamarindo Real Estate go to tamarindorealtor.com where you can find out all about it. It's a source for lots of information that you would need if you were planning to buy property in that area.

Take a look at the web site where you can find out that Tamarindo is a small beach town on the Pacific side of Costa Rica. As soon as you learn about it you start to understand why it is one of the hottest real estate markets in the world right at the current time.

Weather

The weather has been fantastic today. It came out of nowhere. We didn't hear that we were in for a weekend of sun. It didn't matter because we UK folk don't need much of a run up in preparation. All we need to do is have time to unpack the socks and sandals from the loft and we're golden.

I have seen so many badly dressed, burnt faced people over the last two days. I'm starting to think it's a plan by those who don't like immigration. They think, "If we look such a state, when the foreigners come over here, see our pale legs and crispy red necks, they'll go back home disgusted."

People have been elected on less. Well, elected into a coalition.

The New Doctor

The latest man to play Doctor Who has had a few episodes to fit in now. I am currently watching one episode where we have some lizard people who live underground (not on The Underground - they're not that scary)*. The plot lines and story arcs seem to be good but has anyone else noticed that they have turned the show into a kids' TV programme.

When they gave us the first episode most of the cast on screen were kids. In the episode where they redesigned the Daleks they gave a make-over with bright colours. They were basically The Teletubbies with sink plungers.

Just imagine, if Catherine Tate was still the assistant. It would look like a mum bringing her son back from a comprehensive school.


* Oh great, just found out it's part one of two. They're not making me like them any more than I did.

Gold Bullion

It can be difficult to know what to do with your money. If you put it in the bank the world markets mean you won't get much back. You put it in shares and you could lose it all. You put it under the mattress, and you won't get a good night's sleep. Maybe you should carry it with you at all times in lose change. At least that way it will weight too much for anyone to be bothered to rib you, but you might find it hard to get around.

But how about this: buy gold bullion.

Go to www.usgoldbureau.com and you can learn about precious metals investments. This includes gold, silver and platinum bullion and bullion coins, as well as some other precious metals. If something is rare the supply can't meet the demand and that works in your favour and you collection will gain in value.

And it's the only way of making an investment that you can add to by digging in your garden.

Cough

I have been having a year of colds. I'm averaging more than one a month and that means I haven't sounded right since 2009. The last cold turned into a sins infection which was great, I went down two belt holes as I didn't feel the need to eat. I guess I was full up on some yummy infected snot, dribbling its way into the stomach all the time. It's better than the Atkins.

The latest cold has finally left my head and turned into a cough. The trouble is, it's a cough that sounds like the "excuse me" cough people do to get attention. It's not my fault but every time I clear my throat when I'm out in public people keep turning around with a "what do you want" face.

Still, look on the bright side, I'm getting great service in shops.

Old News from 02-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was entertainment news section)

Fay Ripley says she wanted her character in Cold Feet, Jenny, to be killed off. Then it won't just be her feet that are cold.

Stefanie Powers is to be the next actress to play the lead in The King And I as it goes on a six-month UK tour. The King and Stefanie Powers, and when they met it was murder!

Beauty Is In The Eye...

If you are thinking of re-training, or if you are at the stage in your life when you are working out what to train in to get yourself a career, have a look at the cosmetology school in South Carolina, Regency Beauty Institute.

They are 50 years old and what started as just two Minnesota schools has grown to a 30 campus educational establishment. And size comes with benefits. They have connections that can find placements in salons or even cruise ships. It all means that Regency can provide you with valuable experience and a recognized qualification. If you like the sound of that you can go to their website at www.regencybeauty.com where I'm sure they will have more info.

Old News from 02-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was international news section)

In America... New research says babies may feel less pain from injections if they are breastfed while it happens. Well I've got a tetanus booster soon, and I'm willing to test it.

In Canada... Scientists say they have found evidence that cannabis use lowers IQ. Our scientists haven't worked that out yet, so I wonder what they've been smoking.

In Germany... A scientific researcher has wasted a few good government grants to find out that the air pressure caused by passing cars can cause toads on the roads to explode. The Israelis are looking into it as an alternative.

Old News from 02-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was international news section)

Playgirl magazine has launched a search for collapsed energy giant Enron's sexiest man. Of course he'll pose naked, because he can't afford any clothes now.

In China... Officials say their unmanned Shenzhou III spacecraft has returned to Earth and now they're ready to carry people into space. They didn't bother sending monkeys into space, because they'd already eaten them.

In Canada... An April Fool's Day report that the finance minister Paul Martin was about to resign and go breed cattle triggered a dip in the value of the Canadian dollar. Sounds like it worried the cattle too.

The Good (G)Old Days

During a recession people go back to basics. You may have started cooking meals at home rather than buying ready made foods. You may have found yourself repairing things rather than just throwing away and buying new. And there is another example of people going back to basics in the current economic climate, gold.

It's something of a tradition that when the large economies struggle gold is seen to be a better investment. It's happening again. The gold market is doing very well right now, the price has performed well since the U.S. economy starting having a bad time. It's because, just like in the old days, gold is seen as a safe investment as it is a physical thing. If you buy gold bars you have something tangible that won't rust, rot and will hold its value.

So it seems that during this recession we can go back to the good old ways of doing things and this more frugal way of life makes a lot more sense.

Old News from 02-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was UK news section)

Film fan Sian Thurkettle, from Rugby, who has watched the film ET 773 times has now brought a month long cinema pass cinema for unlimited viewing of the new version. Hasn't she taken ET's advice yet, and gone home!

In Shropshire, a deaf puppy collie is being taught sign language. His owner Margaret Jones said, "So far all he's asked for is some soft long toilet tissue."

A painting of Manchester United legend Denis Law which was stolen from Old Trafford has been recovered in a chip shop. I didn't think it was that kind of oil paining.

A new reports says the Army and police will be drafted in immediately in the event of a future foot-and-mouth outbreak. The last thing you'd want near foot-and-mouth is the pigs.

Old News from 02-04-02

A while back I used to write some topical material for radio stations. So, it's way out of date now, but I think it's interesting to have a look back. This is what was in the news back then.

(This was UK news section)

The Government is launching a major drive to give landlords powers to deal with so-called 'neighbours from hell'. Bad news for my neighbour, Mr B Alzi-Bub.

Ministers are reportedly considering proposals to American animals to have pet passports. But they've got hyenas over there, and you're not meant to smile in your passport.

Wild salmon stocks off the north coast of Scotland could be seriously affected after an "unknown quantity" of farmed salmon broke out into the sea over the Easter weekend. Well, it was a bank holiday and that normally means The Great Escape is on.

A report by leaders of the N.A.S.U.W.T. says teachers’ rolls must not be downgraded. They still want the cheese and onion rolls with sesame seeds.

The City of Belfast is paying tribute to Lord Mayor Jim Rodgers, the man who designed the Titanic. Imagine what they would've done if he made a ship that could stay afloat!

The Good Gold Days

I love the fact that during times of economic woe we go 'old school'. As soon as we get near a recession we start to mend socks rather than just buy new ones. We shop around for the best deals on food like I remember by grandparents doing. And there's another way we act in a traditional way, gold.

When paper money has a bad time people turn to metals. Recently gold hit its highest price in almost two weeks. During the same time the dollar has continued to weaken and the Euro was smacked in the back off the legs by the Greece problems. So, as the modern economies have struggled the buying and selling of precious metals has had a shot in the arm, just as people did in the early days.

It makes you wonder how far back we would go. If the recession going into a deep double-dip will we start haggling with shopkeepers and trading in geese and crops? I have some flint in the garden, I might fashion it into rudimentary axe heads just in case.

As it is time to buy gold bullion I have found a website that may be of use to you. Have a look at www.usgoldbureau.com if you want to see more.