Depuy Lawsuit

The Depuy Lawsuits are an interesting case of how the actions of a company can touch the lives of so many.

DePuy, the Johnson & Johnson company, made things like false hips. If everything had gone to plan with that the company in questions would've helped lots of people. But not everything went to plan. There was a fault and 93,000 hip replacement systems were recalled. Some people had to suffer addition and otherwise unnecessary surgery that comes with it's own side-effects and risks.

So, the company affected many people but in a bad way. And some of those affected by this took a legal route. The law firm O'Hanlon, McCollom & Demerath gained experience dealing with cases like this. So if you think you are in a position to bring such a court case you could be well advised to check out their site by clicking the link.

Science

You know me. I love my science. Well look at this post (click here to read it).

Scientists have done it, they have made levitation work. Sounds great, yeah? Nope. It's only for really small things.

So it will probably work for Cheryl Cole.

They have used some quantum mechanics to make it happen. That's great because quantum mechanics is one of those things that when you learn it you think "I'll never use this in a practical way, ever."

For people who didn't do a science degree, it's like when you use a square-root and think, "Wow, I haven't needed that since school."



P.S. Here, have some physics...

Indoor Language

Britain is apparently a nation of a potty mouths.

That is total bullshi... Oh, I see their point.

It's claimed the average person in the UK now swears around 14 times a day.

But you have to realise, we have Gordon Ramsey ruining our stats.

People say television is to blame.

Yep. You turn it on, you see Gordon Ramsey and you say, "Oh for ****'s sake. Is it him again."

What's wrong with swearing. They're only words. They can't hurt you. Most of them don't even include the letter P, so if someone shouts one at you you probably won't even get spat on.

Doing Things The Old Ways

Gold has always had a power over us. It's the colour, the uniqueness, the weight. There has always been an urge to own gold. It's something that you want to not only get but keep and store and add to.

In the old days having a lot of gold was seen as a sign of wealth. People would buy gold as a way of preserving their fortune. It was also a good way to pass on your wealth; your children would inherit the gold and it would then be their fortune.

Today the same is possible. You can gold bullion from www.usgoldbureau.com and have it stored at your home. You then have a solid investment that represents you wealth.

To find out more have a look at the link above.

Virgin Advert

I was watching the TV one the weekend (it just happened to be on during the X Factor. I wasn't planning on watching it, honest). And in the ad break I saw the new Virgin Media ad. It was the one where Speedy Gonzales says he has a new job in the UK.

Really? That's non-EU immigration. How did he get a job over here? The Daily Mail will have a fit.

I prefer the good old days when the Virgin Media ads were like this...



...starring someone who's eyes are just too far apart. If they wanted a cartoon they still could've had someone with Uma's eye spacing. They could've picked Ren from Ren and Stimpy.

Coke Fuel

Forget fossil fuels, forget bio-fuels – this could bee he future of transportation. Some nerds (Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz) made a bike that is powered by piston mechanism using hundreds of pieces of Mentos candy and Coke Zero.

You know what it's like if you drop a Mentos into a bottle of Coke. Well, the same technology has been used to make this bike move. It's a great idea. You can fill it up at a service station like any normal car, because all service stations sell Coke.

And if you get thirsty you can have a little drink from your fuel tank. You can't do that unless you use unleaded petrol (what?).

They posted a video of their efforts online which showed the contraption going more than 220 feet.

OK, it's not that far on one tank but with the price off petrol these days it'll still work out cheaper to use Panda Cola.

>Read the source story

Preparation

Preparation is the key to life. Motivational experts talk about the 5Ps when they say, "preparation prevents p*ss poor performance". The Scouts say you should always be prepared. Even salads come prepared these days.

That's why it's good to talk about things like pest control before you actually have a problem with pests. If you have been invaded by some sort of little critter I feel for you, you're about to run into a panic trying to get it sorted.

If you had thought about it already, done a little research, you'd be in less of a panic. For example, if you lived in Houston you could've researched Bulls Eye Pest Control, which is a Houston pest control company that can sort out any problem you're having with pests like termites, fire ants, wasps and bees and even fleas.

Phone Boxes

On the way back from a gig last night I spotted this...




One thing we can conclude from this, Superman is a knob when he's drunk.

It's bad enough when students do that with traffic cones, but he has to go one better.

It's an art work in Kingston. I'm not really sure what it's suppose to be. If I were the one giving it a title I think I'd go for, "The Best Domino Rally Ever!"

Pigeon vs Magpie

VS.

From the the window at the back of the house today I saw a fight between a pigeon and a magpie. If Harry Hill ever wants to know which one is best I can already help him out.

The competitors were...

...in the blue corner, the undisputed king of crapping on my fence... Fat 'Stool' Pigeon

...and in the red corner, the jinx who stinks, the thieving little bastard... Mag 'Liverpool' Pie.

When it started I didn't know why I would be supporting. I'd never thought about it before but when it all kicked off I found that I wanted the magpie to win.

Sadly, he didn't. He was in trouble from the start. The pigeon was in a different weight-class. Well, they were both feather-weight but you know what I mean.

The magpie knew he wasn't going to win and he flew off. I was hoping he'd gone to get a mate who'd come back and help him kick some pigeon arse because that would be lucky for me. But not for the pigeon.

Golden Future

A lot of people have been interested in buying gold since the recession. We hadn't done it for ages. With the dot.com bubble and the web2.0 boom people were in a mindset where they thought the big investments were shares in tech companies. But the banks screwed things up and now people are thinking that something like gold, something that is solid and can't be messed with by city bankers, is a wiser option.

You can get into this too. You can buy gold on the internet these days. United States Gold Bureau (www.usgoldbureau.com) run a site where you can buy precious metals like silver and gold.

Safety

We all know the phrase, ooooh health and safety. It seems you're not allowed to break wind these days in case you blow yourself over and try to sue.

There have been stories in the news about people not being allowed to cross the road while at work because they were not given the correct training. It was a case of some PSCOs who were helping school children across the road but were told they had to stop as they hadn't been on the right training course.

How would you get to this training course if you weren't allowed to cross a road? You could only be trained up if you lived on the same side of the street as the school.

Well, here's another case of health and safety, in Hitchin... even the postbox has to wear a hard hat.

Drugs Advert

A little while back there was an advert on UK TV that was annoying. Well, there were probably many that fit that description but today I'm only talking about one. It was about drugs.

There were some teens in a car with massive eyes and the voice over at the end said, "Drugs cause involuntary responses that you can't control."

Erm, as opposed to those involuntary things you can control? Isn't that the very nature of something that's involuntary. I know we're teaching kids not to do drugs but can't we teach them how to speak English properly too?

But, if it is true that the drugs cause you to have those big eyes this toy must be well mashed up...

Raise The Bar

We're heading to the time of the year when you'll be asked by relatives what do you want for Christmas. Tell them this, "A gold bar."

You won't get it but it's worth a shot.

No, buying gold isn't something relatives will do for you but it is something you can do for yourself. Gold is currently a good investment. When the financial markets are is disarray gold is seen as a more attractive investment proposition. While shares become worthless if a company folds a bar of gold will always be a bar of gold. Well, as long as you keep it away from nitric acid, and I'd imagine if you have invested your money in gold you wouldn't take it near your jugs of acid. Keep them in a different room maybe.

The Power of Stink-Eye Part2

So, people have been asking about doing the stink-eye. I told you how I used the stink-eye to get a seat when someone broke the queuing rules.

Just as a genuine smile is all about the eyes, true stink-eye is actually about using the mouth. You have to glare, pout and then turn away in disgust.

Don't worry if you don't get it right at first. It takes time. Find a friend to practice on, or if you don't have a friend try out the old stink-eye on a pet.

But don't try doing stink-eye on your cats. The cat will win. Especially if the cat is facing away from you at the time.

The Power of Stink-Eye Part1

Just been to a coffee shop where the gap between paying for your drink and actually getting that coffee is massive.. It's so long I think they're trading coffee futures. I'm buying coffee at one price and they're waiting for the market to drop before they give me my cappuccino.

The trouble with waiting so long before you get your drink is that you are committed, you have paid for your drink so you can't opt out, but if you are in the shop on your own you can't take your seat yet. So, while I was stood waiting someone walked in with her husband, sent him to queue and nicked the seat I was going to have.

I had to do it. I gave her the stink-eye. I was next in line for the seat and it's not fair to nick it from me, so I stick-eyed like a pro.

And it worked! She saw me stink-eying and she moved away from the table. Stink-eye rules!

Golden Shot

Remember you can buy gold bullion on the internet and with the recent recession the prices are good.

You can have the metal delivered to your home for safekeeping or arrange for convenient and safe storage at an independent bank or depository.

Either way you would be able to visit your investment and see with your own eyes the representation of your wealth. The gold is available in coin or as an ingot.

So, while every ad on TV if for some dodgy company that wants to buy our old gold, you can buck the trend and buy it for yourself.

Have a look at the United States Gold Bureau website by clicking the link above and you can find out more.

Æon Flux

Today I spent most of my time watching season 1 of Æon Flux. The film was a bit pants but I thought I remembered the animated cartoon from Liquid TV.

As it turns out after watching ten episodes I didn't understand any of it. But I worked out why I liked it as a teenager.

One thing I learned was that the Aeon Flux cartoons were made in the 1990s and therefore done in 4:3. Watch them on widescreen on the wrong setting and she ain't too skinny any more.

Web Cam

I was thinking of buying a webcam tomorrow. The plan is to go and use it on Twitcam. That's where you can go on the cam and get the Twitter followers you have to ask you questions.

It's a great idea but the big worry is, what if no one logs on. I could sit there like Mr Bill E Nomates just looking like a shop manikin.

But the really worry is that if I like using a webcam I might go on.... chat roulette.

Da da daar!

Commonwealth Games

We hear a lot about the Commonwealth Games. The facilities in India have gained something of a bad reputation. They weren't really ready and aren't of the standard many expected. But there is one reason the competitors are staying there and trying to battle through it all. Gold. They all want to be the one to get a gold medal. It's the status that gold has than can motivate us to work harder and do better. The gold medal isn't even the source of the money that the athletes get but it still represents wealth and status.

In the olden days people would buy gold because it was a good way to store and show off their wealth. It's a physical investment and that's why during times like we're in now, times of global recession, people go back to the old ways and invest in gold. It makes more sense than investing in a piece of paper or reference on a computer. If the bank goes under your money goes with it, but the gold will always be gold.

You can buy buy gold online these days. Click the link to find out more.

Coffee Time

I don't know if you have seen the new Costa advert. If you haven't you can click here and watch it.

In the advert there are lots of monkeys (including a rather handsome looking mandrill) trying to make a cappuccino.

The advert says that monkeys are rubbish at coffee. That's a really bad choice of animal. The cappuccino is named after the cappuccin monks who were named after the cappuccin monkeys.

So, if it wasn't for monkeys we wouldn't have coffee shops populating every corner of our streets.

And at least the monkeys don't ask if you want a cake or muffin every bloody time. If I did, I'd ask!

Back To School

I went back to university recently. I wasn't there to learn, sweet mercy no! I was performing.

It's odd going back to a uni after this long. You forget how small the little chairs are and the little toilets.

You know you're in a university because you find yourself surrounded by acronyms you don't really understand. They had a sign for a CAAS something or other (I have no idea) and a sign for an IWUS thingy (still nothing).

And they also had a sign that said OILE. I just had to ask what the hell that was about. Turns out it used to say toilets before some letters fell off.

It's Hip To Be Square

There's an interesting legal issue going on at the moment. There are DePuy Hip Replacement lawsuits that have come about because of DePuy Orthopaedics, Inc. They announced a recall of their hip replacement systems. That's a total of about 93,000 affected. The problem was related to reports of people suffering pain and swelling. It was so severe for some that they needed a second hip replacement. That was more surgery, which in itself was more suffering.

The lawyers at O'Hanlon, McCollum & Demerath have taken on case of people affected by this. If you think this may be an issue you would like to look into click the link above and see what they can do for you.

Manager's Special

I was out shopping earlier on and I saw this on a shelf...



Aw bless. It's good that they employ people like that. But I'm not sure manager is the right position.

He was there with his little toy till and he's happy as Larry.

But when it comes to making the managerial decisions I'm not sure it'll go well. If you're special and you want to be a manager... go work in a Weatherspoons.

Stand-Up Clips

Here are some (very short) clips from a selection of stand-up gigs done over the last week. Just click the link and hopefully you'll get to hear them.

Have a listen...

- From the Crouch End gig, this guy wouldn't tell the MC his name and we found out why.

- From Surrey gig, basically poo jokes about the Commonwealth Games. Not high brow!

- From Beds Uni gig an experiment in doing a popular tweet on stage.

- From the stand-up gig in Stamford, when @Hotchilly56 called his wife "That".

- A little clip from the Borough Green gig (TN15 8HF).