What Just Happened

I got home to find a little red card from the Post Office saying I had to go to pick up something they tried to deliver (when I wasn't in) and suddenly it's my problem.

So, I head to the main Post Office, queue with the old people, get my thing and head home. But when I finally get back in the house, it was later than I thought and my flies were undone. Looking at that evidence here's only one thing I think could've happened. I must've been hypnotised by a randy old woman.

Or I suppose a randy old man. Either one of those two possibilities must be when happened. In fact the old man is more likely to carry the required pocket watch.