Cheryl Cole's Renewed Vows

Footballer Ashley Cole is plotting to whisk his wife Cheryl away to Dubai to renew their vows in the summer.

I know some people renew their vows because they like the extra holiday, but he really needs them renewing. Fixing would be another way to put it. By all accounts they have been broken, so it's time to get some new ones.

This time, keep the receipt.

The reason they are going there is because that's the place where he proposed four years ago.

You know it's not going well when just four years later you have to say the same, with the addition... "and this time I mean it."